Energy vampires: how to cope with them?
Characteristics of the personality of energy vampires of attention somehow not paid. It is believed that these are just evil people with a bad temper who can be happy only if their neighbor is ill.
Twenty years ago it was fashionable to get involved in esotericism: positive and negative vibes, mysterious streams, aura, and at the same time energy vampirism - in general, magical thinking in all its glory. Psychology has replaced magic, but for some reason the concept of “psychological vampire” has taken root and continues to be actively used.
Although these people, who are persistently demonized, are in fact the most ordinary representatives of the human race. They have no witchcraft abilities. Moreover, they are themselves in a very vulnerable state and often need help.
Teaching about Vedic femininity, bitch schools, courses for successful startups without education and initial capital are all attractive projects for infantils.They find a great response among modern young people. These concepts are united by one thing: “Someone else should work, and you, yes, it was you who were created for unconditional love and presents. You are special, the whole world will be at your feet. ” Such a simple spell always finds a grateful target audience, who naively hurries to join relevant master classes and trainings for large sums of money.
It is fashionable to be an eternal child: watch movies and cartoons all day long, avoid intercourse with the opposite sex, eat at fast food restaurants, dress like a schoolchild and be in an endless “search for yourself”. All this helps to live without any responsibility, to pretend to be sweet and helpless, despite the passport data, according to which the age of majority came in the eternal child 10–15 years ago.
Infantiles prefer to live with their parents. Sometimes they rent a house, but in this case they groan loudly about the difficulties of adult life and gladly accept help, be it emotional service or money. They need a strong shoulder, or at least an illusion of it.
Infantile and make up some of the people, which are called energy vampires.These are the most unbearable characters who deftly find the guilty in any situation, always consider themselves unjustly offended and deceived - whether by fate, weather, mother or superiors - and rush to loudly hear about their pain in the whole world. Each phrase sounds like a request for help, and is surprisingly combined with rampant boasting.
The way to neutralize such “energy vampires” is simple: not to succumb to provocations, with a sweet smile to ignore requests for emotional or other services veiled under monologues about their non-recognition, and most importantly to refrain from advice on changing the life of the sufferer for the better. One has only to begin to teach the poor fellow, and he will climb on the neck to the “lecturer”, will affectionately hang the legs and will ask for new and new words of support, advice and strokes.
These people know everything about diseases. They will easily surpass any doctor thanks to the extensive information obtained by means of search engines and on forums of similar sufferers. More precisely, it seems so to hypochondriacs. Because the information that they own is, as a rule, unsystematic, contradictory, and sometimes even completely funny.
The hypochondrik complains that the doctor has not prescribed him a gluten-free diet for migraines.After all, a serious study that he conducted on two people (his grandmother and girlfriend by correspondence) showed that only this method of treatment helps alleviate the suffering! A detailed clarification of the circumstances reveals that the patient has no migraine at all, the grandmother is no longer alive for twenty years, and the “pen friend” never responded to his messages.
Such "energy vampires" plague others in a very refined way: they simply can not talk about anything other than their symptoms and imaginary illnesses. Doctors have not diagnosed even a tenth of those ailments that these sufferers were able to identify themselves.
And you will have to listen to calculations, proofs, reasoning about their health, and also to get acquainted with the pressure diary and rectal temperature graphs over the next ten years.
Neutralize the hypochondriac can only be one way: to agree with everything, while imperceptibly moving towards the exit. Having reached it, one must run, without saying goodbye, and never return to this quiet abode of egocentrism littered with medical reference books and dietary supplements, smelling of Corvalol and inflammation of cunning.
People in a difficult life situation
We all love cheerful and sociable people who have no problems in life. Or at least characters who deftly pretend to be so.
It is difficult to stay close to a person who is experiencing a divorce, an illness of a loved one or an unexpected dismissal from work, no matter how we try to convince ourselves of the opposite. Suddenly, out of nowhere, an inexplicable sense of guilt, hidden fears that this may happen to us, and, finally, a clear realization that life is unfair, wake up. All this makes you get involved in the most unpleasant emotions. Therefore, the best thing that our brain can do in order to overcome unconsciously growing anxiety is to include psychological defenses. And here we say to ourselves that “he himself is to blame for his troubles” or “she just behaved incorrectly,” although this is almost certainly not the case: sad things like illness, car accidents or thefts happen to everyone regardless of how correct the person is. behaved himself. Finally, we can tell ourselves that this type seems to be just an energetic vampire, and we will try to distance ourselves from it - and this is also the focus of our psyche, so as not to be fixed on disturbing thoughts.
There is no universal recipe for coping with such “energy vampirism” - it all depends on how much mental resource, empathy and altruism you have in order to sincerely offer your help. People sometimes get into trouble. Most often this is not their fault. To help, but not to step back, if there is such an opportunity, is an unequivocal plus sign to karma. There is a high probability that a person who seemed to be a whiner, lazy or a loser, after stopping the black stripe in life, will suddenly show himself from much more pleasant sides. After all, character is not a substance carved into granite that does not change with time, and a person’s behavior is largely determined by circumstances and the ability to survive failures, to rise and move on. In any case, the deliberate shutdown of the “accusing” mental institutions against the victim is already a great achievement.
A serious illness often changes a person’s personality. Psoriasis, which has captured most of the skin, makes a sociable girl into an unsociable beech. The pain of an incurable tumor causes a person to lose human appearance, turns into a clot of suffering without dreams and hopes, the need of which is just another injection of anesthetic.
Influence of the ailment on the character was noted by the classics: in the fiction literature there is, for example, a description of "bilious nature" - intransigence, a violent nature was attributed to the abundant outflow of bile against the background of digestion problems. In the novel "The Master and Margarita" impeccably describes the restrictive behavior of the disease: Pontius Pilate suffers from migraine, and therefore hastens to retire to quietness and peace rather than engage in detailed analysis of the motives of Yeshua.
Lying patients often harass their loved ones unwittingly. The illness exhausts the psychic resource, and the person as if for ever loses positive traits of character, becomes like an evil caricature of himself.
To cope with this type of "energy vampirism" is not easy. If an unfamiliar person with a serious illness suddenly starts to show the most unsightly aspects of his soul, to be rude and provoke a conflict, it is not worth supporting him: it is better to leave or, if there are forces, to sincerely sympathize with his problem, to agree that the world is unfair and interlocutory, It seems that these injustices are overwhelming.We may not be aware of the stranger’s medical history, but the angry grandmother in the queue at the clinic’s office, and the unbearable and very thin old man who poison your life with curses and curses just because you accidentally blocked his way to the trolley in the supermarket.
If the “energy vampire” suddenly turned out to be a close person with a chronic ailment, it is important to learn not to confuse the face of a relative and the face of the disease, not to take accusations and complaints at your own expense. Often the patient is helped by simple things that make the quality of life a little higher. This is an effective anesthesia, the ability to do your favorite business, the creation of a comfortable environment, the atmosphere of unconditional support and adoption in the family, simple devices such as handrails in the bathroom for a weakened person.
You should not take "energy vampirism" as definitely a bad phenomenon, aimed at ruining your life. People who are looking for “food” in the form of human emotions or suffering for no reason simply do not exist. If you take a closer look at the "vampire", it often turns out that life has caused him much more harm than he can do to others.And along with this understanding, sympathy usually comes and calmness that is so necessary in a conflict situation.